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Daily Poll/Archive/March 2008
March 31, 2008 *Points: 100 Years, McCain Clamps *Truths: John McCain, Abu Ghraib, Blackwater, no-bid contract, Barack Hussein Obama, Abu Ghraib What can liberals learn from Chicago Cubs' fans? John McCain is willing to suffer a hundred years of torture to win the Global War on Terrorism trophy. Staying the course will give torturers multi-million dollar contracts. Obama hates baseball and apple pie. A hundred years from now, Iraq will be celebrating opening day at Abu Ghraib. March 30, 2008 *Points: Theft Costs Charities Billions *Truths: Liberals, billion, faith based, charity, The Greatest Vice President - EVER! What are the learnings from billions of theft from nonprofit organizations? That liberals are stealing. That more faith based in charity is needed. Enron accountants found new jobs. That Cheney can get his Halliburton stock option money back quickly and easily from the nonprofits he donated it to. March 26, 2008 *Points: Speaker of the House Pelosi Hates Superdelegates *Truths: Nancy Pelosi, Hillary, Barack Hussein Obama, superdelegates, Democrats, Ronald Reagan Why does Nancy Pelosi hate superdelegates? Because she has Obamamania. Because they're heroes. Because she doesn't have faith in superheroes. Because superdelegates were created in Ronald Reagan's 4th year, 1984. March 25, 2008 *Points: McCain Lobbyists, Republican Regrets *Truths: John McCain, lobbyists, Republican, Christian, Hero Liberals want us to vote for an angry black man for President. Heroes want a: Man who can deal peacefully with lobbyists. Man who embraces corporate learnings. Man ready to Indepentify Iran. Angry, white, Christian male. Country led by Bush for 4 more years. March 24, 2008 *Points: Victory in Impeach Bush Case, Rush Limbaugh Votes Clinton, Pelosi's tube *Truths: The Greatest President EVER!, impeachment, voting, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Hate America Firster Some America hater was found not guilty for holding an impeach Bush sign. This means we can: Hold up Impeach Pelosi signs. Pretend to be Democrats and vote for Hillary. Send messages and fax Pelosi's office to demand she resign. Hold up assassinate Obama signs. March 23, 2008 *Points: Conversion Miracle, Pope Dry in Water, Easter in Iraq *Truths: The Pope, Poprah, Easter, Jesus What is the best way to celebrate Easter? Dress up in a bunny suit and do it like a rabbit. Rejoice with the Pope that more young boys will experience the "miracle" of "conversion". Get wet watching the Pope in Rome. Set off car bomb fireworks in Iraq. March 22, 2008 *Points: Condi Says it's a Few Bad Apples, Rush Limbaugh's Voter Fraud *Truths: The Greatest Secretary of State, Abu Ghraib, Lynndie England, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Novak, Barack Hussein Obama The liberal media claimed Condi apologized to Obama. What Did Condi actually tell Obama? Divorce your wife and make me your first lady. I'm giving your social security number to Rush Limbaugh. I'm giving your address to Bob Novak. Your next flight will land on Abu Ghraib. March 21, 2008 *Points: InfraGard report, Obama Porn *Truths: InfraGard, FBI, Homeland Security, guns, Privatize *Agents: WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer What's the best way for the FBI to protect America? Make the terrorists jealous of our hot chicks giving cooking tips. Keep secrets. Give contracts to protect it. Give corporations immunity to kill those who threaten America. Join InfraGard. March 20, 2008 *Points: South Park Colorado Reports, Ladybugs, Libby Disbarred *Truths: Britney Spears, Attorney General, Michael Mukasey, Scooter Libby, The Supreme Court, South Park, Executive Branch, O.J. Simpson Who should handle the case of Britney allegedly murdering a ladybug while peeing in the woods in Colorado? Attorney General Mukasey. The Supreme Court. Scooter Libby OJ Simpson. March 19, 2008 *Points: Inspired by Analyst in Chief WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer *Truths: Dr. Colbert, Adam's Apple, Ann Coulter, America, Florida, man Dr. Colbert said America is a man based on Florida America also had an Adam's Apple. But which state is America's Adam's Apple? Louisiana North Carolina The hand of Michigan Illinois Texas What state did Ann Coulter grow up in? March 18, 2008 *Points: War "Vigils", The Best War Ever, The Iraq Victory, Ads for Troops *Truths: The Greatest War Ever, Iraq, Afghanistan, The Greatest President - EVER!, John McCain The Liberals are conspirarating again! They're planning rallies to protest the 5th glorious year of the greatest war ever. Should General George: Drop bombs on the rally sites. Arrest them and send them to Afghanistan. Give more money to the Pentagon for more troops advertising. Release more videos of him and John McCain hugging. March 17, 2008 *Points: Iraq fax-in *Truths: Liberals, Iraq, Nancy Pelosi, Dick Cheney, thatchers, The Greatest President - EVER! Liberals are plotting an Iraq fax-in. What should we fax Nancy Pelosi? A high-def image of Thatchers. A high-def image of Dick Cheney's rocks. Stephen Colbert's butt print. The Greatest President's middle finger. March 16, 2008 *Points: Messiah Moon, Craig Goes Nuclear *Truths: Rev. Sun Myung Moon, Larry Craig, St. Patricks Day, Jenna Bush, Ralph Nader, conservative It's St. Patricks Day on Monday, which will give sodomites another reason to dress up and drink. How should a true conservative celebrate? Dress up like Rev. Sun Moon. Drink like Jenna Bush. Dress in all green and wear a Ralph Nader mask. Meet someone special in an airport bar restroom. March 15, 2008 *Points: Canada Snow Records *Truths: Canada, Canadian, French, road rage, climate change, The Convenientest Truth, Al Gore Record snow in Canada proves that: Canadians are full of hate. Global warming is a myth. Al Gore should give his Nobel prize back. Wikiality's Christmas decorations should stay up for another month. Santa is still alive March 14, 2008 Lifestyle Survey The Creationer: WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer Wikiality.com is taking a "Lifestyle Survey™" based on current news: what is the most you've spent on a hooker? A pack of cigarettes and a bottle of beer. A spoon, a lighter, and a $10 hit of crack. $20 Before or after I slipped the Franklin in her thong? Over $100. I am in the public eye and my accountant takes care of these things. March 13, 2008 *Points: Pentagon Finds Interrogation Abuse Tapes *Truths: torture, enhanced interrogation, Eliot Spitzer, the Youtube, Pentagon The Pentagon said it found "abuse" tapes, but they really were: Videos Eliot Spitzer and his hookers made for the Youtube. President Bush providing Barney with some tough love. Vice President Cheney telling Democrats where they can go. Hillary Clinton's latest pantsuit fitting. March 12, 2008 *Points: Gas Prices at All Time High *Truths: gas, oil, Exxon, The Greatest President EVER!, tax incentive The highest gas prices ever prove that: The terrorists are on the run. George W. Bush is the greatest President ever! We must stop our dependence on non-American oil. Tax payers are feeling Exxon's profits trickle on them already. It's more important than ever to give oil companies additional tax incentives. March 11, 2008 *Points: Michael Mukasey's Bid for Greatest Attorney General, Congress Sues *Truths: Michael Mukasey, Robert Wexler, Harriet Miers, Joshua Bolten, Greatest Attorney General, John Conyers With less than a year to surpass the great Alberto Gonzales, what more does Mukasey need to do to contend for the title of Greatest Attorney General? Sue Congress for questioning the Executive branch. Hire Harriet Miers as a sub-contractor. File charges of employment prejudice against John Conyers. Enforce Pentagon interrogation policy on Nancy Pelosi. March 10, 2008 *Points: Good Democrats Spy, Bad Democrats Hate Immunity, Real-time Cell Tracking, Unfettered FBI Access *Truths: spy, wiretapping, privacy, Homeland Security, Dems, The Greatest Vice President EVER!, Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton What's the real reason liberal Dems don't want to give telephone companies immunity for spying? They see the long-term wisdom of President Bush. They're trying to cover Elliot Spitzer's Clinton behaviors. Cheney visited each of them personally. They're concerned their own calls to prostitutes will be uncovered. March 9, 2008 *Points: McCain-Clinton Empires Strike Back, Experience Accepting Money, Obama-Osama Connection Revealed! *Truths: The Liberal Media, Barack Hussein Obama, Obamamamamia!, Who's Riding My Coattails Now? The liberal media have now suddenly decided to "get tough" with Barack Hussein Obama by finally writing stuff critical of him. Why are they doing this now? Obama refuses to take money from liberal media lobbyists. Hillary's fashion changes more than Obama's. Nobody else will talk to them at 3am. Just like they ride Stephen's coattails, they're riding wikiality.com's hard hitting Obamamamamia. March 6, 2008 *Points: Biggest job drop in 5 years, Send a message to the Speaker of the House *Truths: THE Greatest President - EVER!, impeachment, Americans, free market, competition, trickle down, Nancy Pelosi What's the greatest part of having more Americans to trickle down upon? It increases the competition for jobs in the free market. It keeps unions down in the gutter with the homeless. It forces writers to make deals. It provides more incentive to take jobs in Iraq and Afghanistan. March 5, 2008 *Points: Bush Hugs McCain, McCain Hugs Bush, Post Hug Relations *Truths: THE Greatest President - EVER!, The Greatest Vice President - EVER!, Karl Rove, bear hug, Jon Stewart, John McCain What does the support and hugs from President Bush mean for McCain's presidential run? He's now a member of the mafia. Karl Rove will DJ his lobbyist parties. He gets to go hunting with Vice President Cheney. He doesn't have to change the spelling of his name to Jon. Stephen Colbert will consider being his Vice President.